Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Jailhouse Apprentice

So, Bush just had a press conference, in which he was, as usual, all faux folksy and down to earth, joking with the reporters, and yet, not really answering any of their questions. I noticed that he's done more press conferences since the last election, and I've always sort of thought that his handlers steered him away from doing them due to their inability to actually control what comes out of his mouth when he's up there. I imagine them, off to the side, clutching their heads and averting their eyes as he, yes, dare I say it, uses the wrong word (May 31, 2005) and then defines it for the press. However, I think he's getting more comfortable. By the end of his term he'll stop caring entirely, show up for press conferences with a beer in one hand, a bong in the other, dressed in a toga with underpants on his head. And then he'll give us the finger, moon us, and run off whooping, his secret service detail hot on his trail and giving himself a new secret service nickname: "Nut Case."

And then the question came up, what is he going to do after he leaves office? Will he just sit back and be like, hey, I'm worth millions, I don't gotta work, I'm going to enjoy myself. I was e-mailing my buddy SY, and I said, you know, he should go on the Apprentice! And they could pair him up with, you know, Omorosa. And then I thought about it, and I was like, they could do a failed CEO version of the Apprentice, where former CEOs try to regain a modicum of power through the show. And the SY made the best suggestion ever: Whichever one can run the most successful jailhouse business. I was like, wow. That is brilliant. You could have the Enron guys, the World Com guys, the toy guy.... I would totally watch that.


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