Sunday, August 21, 2005

Story Update

I've been told that a story I related earlier in this forum was not told to its full justice. Now, in Metro Observation 3, I related my general annoyance with people who insist on rolling their teeny tiny little bags that probably weigh about a pound everwhere on the metro. And then I told the story about my experience on a plane to New Orleans. I have now been reminded of the details of this story, and would like to do it justice now.

Okay, so I am going to New Orleans with my friend, and we are getting on the plane. We are seated in the back third of the plane. As we're boarding, there is, ahead of us, a really tall skinny guy ("Stretch"). Stretch has a fold up luggage cart, on which he is carrying...his laptop. The laptop is secured to the luggage cart with an elaborate arrangement of bungee cords (I know, very hi-tech). And, apparantly, the world has to stop while Stretch undos all the bungee cords, takes his laptop off the luggage cart, fold up the luggage cart, and had to then resecure the now empty luggage cart with the bungee cords, as they have to go back on in an equally elaborate manner (because...they're going to get lost in the overhead luggage compartment?). As he goes into the elaborate wrap up of the bungee cords, my friend is all "aughhhhh", and we're leaning on the backs of the seats as we wait to get about two rows behind him on the other side of the plan. People are stacked up behind us, but Stretch is totally oblivious to the inconvience he's causing.

So, we do the whole flight thing (I might add that flight had, like, the best snack I have ever had on flight. It was a box with cheese and crackers, a box of raisins, and piece of chocolate.), had our encouter with the drunk passenger, who drank because she claimed she was nervous flying (well, gee, I know I'd feel safer drunk and not in complete control).

And now it's time to get off the plane. We land, and we're out of our seats. Stretch has gotten up, and is trying to get his luggage cart down, but he can't quite reach it. We'g gotten into the aisle, and we're so close to getting past him, and my friend is muttering "Oh, don't give him that luggage cart. He can just wait for it. No, don't..." as some "good samaritan" reaches up and gets...the luggage cart. We collapse against each other with another "Auuuggghhhh." Down it comes, into the aisle. The untangling of the bungee cords. No one is moving, we're all being held captive by the bungee coard luggage cart freak. And he's undoing the bungee cords, and undoing the luggage cart, and suddenly the flight attendants realize that no one has walked past them in about five minutes, so one of them comes back and sees this production happening. She asks him if he would mind just taking everything off the plane and doing it once he get out to the jetway, and she gestures to everyone standng there staring at him and waitng for him to get his ass in gear and let us off the plane. His response to her is to say, "Oh, okay," and then to continue to secure the laptop to the luggage cart, because, apparantly, he's happy to put it together on jetway, but first he's got to get it put together here on the plane. Finally it's secured to his satisfaction, and he decides to release us from the purgatory which is us trapped on the plane.

And that, my friends, is the updated extended story of The Hell That is Rolly Bags (And Luggage Carts).


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