Damn you world! ::shakes fist::

Actually, I'm not really in that bad a mood. I mean, I was earlier, but now I've been to yoga and gotten some exercise, so I feel better. I don't know what it is, I just feel this sort of general malaise. I think I can track it pretty accurately to a couple of things. In November I was all full of purpose because I was doing the book, and I was very driven. Stressed, but with purpose.

And then the month ended. And the project was done. And I had my birthday, which is always a time for me to reassess my life. And this past Monday it snowed, which is just...ugh. I start to feel all closed in and trapped and tight when it gets cold, and I just have to sit at my desk and do my pointless job, and I start dreaming that I had enough guts to just sell my condo and flee to Fiji and...I don't know...teach scuba diving. I don't know what it is. I just get this itch at this time of the year, and I find myself sort of dissatsified with everything.

So I have to list the good things in my life. And I'm not talking big things like my family and friends. I'm talking about the little things that help me get through the week.

1. Comfort food. I'm talkin' risotto, mac and cheese, pizza, sushi, thai food.
2. The return of Project Runway. Yes, today. (But please, what is Daniel Franco doing back?) Tim Gunn makes me happy.
3. Good books. Thank god for the library, and for the fact that I have a lot of stuff on my shelves, both things that I've read before that could take a re-reading, and things that I haven't read yet. I feel like with the cold weather setting in, I should tackle something really imposing and long.
4. Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me and This American Life. Must hear radio on Saturdays. I feel incomplete when I don't get to hear these shows.
5. Rediscovering old music. Finding my Gin Blossoms CD, They Might Be Giants, and hey, is that my copy of Pink Floyd The Wall? Bring it on! Sometimes I forget how music can make me feel. It can take me back to a time in my life that was different, or I find new siginificance in the music. It's not secret that I love cheesy, trashy Europop. Usually it's a no-brainer for lifting my spirits, but for some reason I'm not going for it right now. Maybe I should, though.
7. The gym. A must have. I remember in high school having a friend who elected not to take gym his junior year (since it wasn't required), and he regretted it because he got hyper and nervous during the day, and having gym class helped him blow it off an focus. I have become that sort of person. I get short tempered and annoyed when I don't get enough exercise. And then I go to the gym and I magically feel better. It's like natural crack or something.
8. Diet Coke. My lifeline.
9. Netflix. It's like I don't have to keep my list of things that I want to see in my head anymore, because Netflix has yet to not have what I want. Not only have I been able to catch up on shows that I wasn't able to see due to lack of cable, or scheduling conflicts, but also get to see movies that I missed in the theatre.
10. Seeing movies in the theatre. I know, I could rent it, but there's something about the big screen and the group experience that has a huge attraction for me. Plus the colors are more vibrant, images are more striking, and action is more exciting on the big screen.
11. Live theatre. Ditto to the movie experience, except I can't see it on netflix. You snooze, you lose.
12. Speaking of snoozing, sleep. I'm disgracefully low on it.
13. Yoga. Though I miss my old teacher terribly. I don't like doing fourteen sun salutations, speeding through balance poses, and holding stretches for only three seconds. I end up not feeling relaxed and stretched, which is sort of what I'm after. The answer, of course, is home practice.

Man. I need a lot in my life to get by.